UNF_CK YOURSELF -GET OUT OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND INTO YOUR LIFE By GARY JOHN BISHOP Full Book Summarize

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UNF*CK YOURSELF -GET OUT OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND INTO YOUR LIFE By GARY JOHN BISHOP Full Book Summarize

About Book

Many times such a situation also comes in life where we start feeling helpless. We feel like life is stuck in one place, and the worst part is that we cannot find any solution. But is there really a way out? In this summary, you will learn how to get out of the trap of your thoughts. This summary is like a guide for you which will show you the right path so that you can turn your life in the right direction.

Who should read this book?

    people who want to improve themselves

    psychology student

    the teenagers

    Millennials

    Everyone who wants to live life in the best possible way

About the Author

Gary John Bishop is a Personal Development Coach. He is a very passionate coach who teaches people how to live their life in the best possible way. He gives training to people of all ages and professions. Gary lives in Florida with his wife and three children.

Introduction

Are you also fed up with your life? Do you also feel that life is getting worse and worse day by day? Have you become pessimistic or is there still a ray of hope left? Do you think there will be something better in life ahead?

If your answer is yes then this summary is perfect for you because in this you will learn about self talk and how it can affect your life. When you talk to yourself, it has a big and deep impact on the way you see the world. It changes your perspective.

You will learn from this summary that Willingness means you can control your life only by your will because your circumstances are not your identity because circumstances never remain the same.

You will learn that there is no such thing as certainty. Taking risk is the only option on which you should think.

You will understand how you can change the direction of your life.

Are you ready to rethink your life? Are you ready to pay attention to the habits and thoughts that are bothering you?

So let’s understand all these one by one.

In the beginning…

We all have this habit that we talk to ourselves. You must have also noticed that often when we are deeply engrossed in our thoughts, we start asking questions and answers to ourselves.

Yes, no, this is not a sign of insanity. This is called self talk. Self-talk influences your outlook on life, that is, when you are doing negative self-talk, you are looking at the negative side of things. When your self talk is positive, it means you are thinking about life in a positive way. It’s just such a simple thing.

What we say to ourselves everyday affects our mood. Many studies show that your emotions depend to a great extent on your way of thinking, that is, by thinking negative things, our feelings also become negative and we start feeling worse than before. In a way, we ourselves increase our sorrow by thinking negatively.

A perfect example of this is the work which we often keep postponing. You run away from those works because you find them very challenging and your negative feeling makes that thing so boring for you that you do not feel like doing that work at all. In the end, you leave that work and after that a guilt feeling starts bothering you even more.

But do you know how easily you can change your attitude or thinking? Suppose your friend is complaining that there are so many difficulties and problems in life, then somewhere you too will start thinking like him by being influenced by his words. Knowingly or unknowingly you will also start seeing life from your friend’s point of view. You will feel that life is unfair anyway” then what is the use of working hard and this small thought of yours will become your reality.

But there is nothing to worry, if you are also addicted to negative self-talk, then there is still a ray of hope left for you. Scientists have discovered that the structure of our brain is not fixed. The name of this concept is neuroplasticity i.e. our thoughts can really change the structure of our brain. Learning any new thing can change the neural pathways of the brain. It is these paths that decide how our thinking and our behavior will be. Therefore, if you inculcate the habit of positive thinking, then your brain will also create a new pathway for positive thinking and gradually you will get used to thinking positively. So you have seen how powerful our brain is!

That’s why by being assertive instead of narrative, positive self-talk can develop inside you. Narrative self-talk describes to us what we should do now. But this is a bad thing because we already start putting pressure on our future self. Common narrative self-talk begins with “I will” or “I am going to”. Yes, it is a good thing to have expectation about yourself, but sometimes it can be dangerous for you. Just imagine how you would feel if you could not fulfill the promise you made to yourself? Obviously you must be disappointed, right? That’s why you have to change your self dialogue and this is where we need assertive self talk.

 Assertive self-talk will encourage you to focus only on the present moment. Then you will say “I am” or “I assert”. This will help you to understand that whatever action you are about to take, you have control over it. Suppose you have got a new job and you are very excited thinking that you will impress everyone in the office, especially your boss. But due to over excitement, you get confused, you were so excited that you drop all the papers which were in your hand and you realize that your impression got spoiled on the very first day of the job. Automatically your mind will think “I am so clumsy, my boss will probably think I am stupid”.

This negative self-talk of yours will make you feel guilty. If you bend down to pick up the papers, you will feel even more insulted and think “What if these papers fall again? My luck is bad! As soon as negative thought came in your mind and you started considering yourself unlucky, only from there this thought will start turning into reality. You will start doubting yourself, you will stay in the office all day in fear that some other mess may happen and all your energy will be spent in this. You will return home in a bad mood and an impression will remain in your mind that – first day on the job was very bad”.

Now let’s imagine the same situation in a different way. Papers fell from your hand, but no negative self-talk came in your mind, instead you think in a positive way “No problem, if the paper falls, I will pick it up, it is a small thing”. You bend down and pick up the paper and start your work, that means you have corrected this small mistake immediately. You didn’t make it a big issue and didn’t think it would tarnish your image. You saved your mood from spoiling with positive self-talk and also enjoyed the first day of office.

So, have you seen the difference between both the situations? This is what we call the Power of Self Talk, and this is the only way in which you can change your way of thinking and the way you live your life.

I am willing.”

Are you stuck in a useless job? Are you worried about your relationships? If the answer to these questions is yes then there is only one solution “Quit” means leave the thing which is troubling you.

You have to understand that your circumstances are not your problem. The problem is you yourself. You know that you have control over your life. But you yourself are unaware of this. You cry about the situation but have you ever tried to change the situation? Nothing will happen just by thinking, for the life you want, you will have to work hard and be ready for every change.

You are ready for this when you take full responsibility. When you decide that you have to do it, then you have to do it. Then no matter how difficult that work is. Willingness means desire is your choice, this is something that you can choose for yourself.

Are you not happy with your life, if yes then it is your fault because you yourself have chosen such condition which is making you unhappy. Are you ready to put yourself in such a situation. Don’t make excuses now. If you do if-but then it means that you do not have any desire. You are defending your own position. Blaming others or yourself means that the control of your life is not in your hands, that is, you have not yet taken charge. This means that you are still considering yourself as the actor of your life while you are the director. You have to tie a knot that your life cannot be under the control of anyone else except you.

Your willfulness gets strength when you know why you are doing some work or why you have taken some action. Why do you want to learn a new skill? Are you really interested in him? Will this improve the quality of your life or do you just want to learn thinking that everyone else is learning, so I should also learn. When you start understanding the purpose of your willfulness, then you will see the future clearly. You will know what to expect and you will be able to focus more and more on yourself.

Suppose you want to go in the field of writing but you are afraid that you do not know how to write properly. But this is absolutely false. The truth is that you didn’t even try your best. You haven’t developed that much willfulness. So first ask yourself, “Am I ready to become a good writer?”

By asking yourself these questions, you will see all the possibilities that are within your reach.

By saying “Yes, I am willing”, you are taking responsibility for your own life. So once again, the author asks you “Are you willing?”

According to a study, one out of every five adults has gone through some or the other traumatic experience in their childhood. This terrible experience sometimes becomes the foundation of our destructive habit. Destructive habit ruins a person’s life. Research has shown that treatment of any type of shock effect is possible. But this is very difficult, unless the patient himself is ready for it.

 Unless he wants to help himself. If the patient is ready then the healing process becomes faster and for some people less scary too, but if the patient is unwilling means there is no will of his own then no one can do anything. If the purpose of therapy is known then it becomes more effective. Therapists may also have noticed that patients who understand the purpose of their treatment, recover much faster than other patients. Hiding something from someone seems like a burden on the heart, like suppose you took a huge investment risk which did not make much profit, then you might think “I will not tell my wife about this, she will be very angry”.

But this secret will make you feel guilty everyday. What is the use if you cannot seek help from those whom you love. This will make a difference in your relationships as well and on top of that your mood will get worse. In such a situation ask yourself the question “Am I ready to tell the truth to my wife? Am I ready to live life without keeping any secrets or hiding things?”? These questions will make you realize that you have to take responsibility for your actions. Running away from the problem is not the solution, rather it will make your problem worse.

So prepare yourself for a happy and free life because you deserve it.

 “I got this”  

Suppose you are working on your computer. You are feeling very productive because you have to finish a project. But then your computer crashes. When you checked your project, you came to know that all the files have been destroyed, that is, all the work you had done has been deleted. Just what was it then, you go mad with anger and your mood gets spoiled. Because of this your whole day gets wasted.

 On top of that your colleague behaves strangely, he starts irritating you by asking the same question again and again. You get angry even while having lunch, why do people talk so loudly? Then you become more frustrated thinking about your work. Your hunger also dies. You reach home with a bad mood and ignore your family as all your focus is on your project.

This is a small example of how a negative thought or expression disturbs us. It not only harms us but also affects our relationships. If you do not control these emotions, then it will affect every part of your life. Your relations will be filled with toxic i.e. bitterness. Your whole thinking will become toxic. Your attitude towards reality will go on becoming negative.

So how do you stop this negativity from entering your life?

 Remember this, no matter how bad our circumstances are, someone must be living a worse life than this. In other words, there are more troubled and unhappy people in the world than us, who maintain courage and courage in spite of so many troubles. We can learn a lot from these people. Although this truth cannot solve our problems in any way, but yes it can definitely give us courage and the power to control our emotions. You should keep this in mind. Look carefully at your life. Remember your good moments, celebrate your victories. Do you remember the prize you won or how happy you were when you had your first baby?

How proud did you feel when you got the first job or salary of your life? These small moments are the moments of your victory. But you should not forget your failures too. You will probably get sad remembering those days when no one supported you, when you were all alone or that painful breakup. Remember how sad and lonely you were then. All these experiences whether it is victory or defeat, both have equal contribution in your growth. Even then you thought that you would never be able to get out of this trouble but you did.

Just like a picture, the further back you go, the clearer the picture you will see. Of course your problem is real and your emotions are equally valid but our goal is to see life from a different angle. Keeping your problem aside, pay attention to the life of others for some time, then you will come to know that there are many people in this world who are stuck in a bigger problem than us.

 The problem which is probably very big for us, who knows someone else may be struggling with a bigger problem, but life is not the name of giving up. We can find a solution to our problem, of course it will take time but it is not impossible. If we are troubled, then other people are also troubled, so why don’t we face our problems with full courage and enthusiasm.

For example, suppose you have a disagreement on something with a colleague in the office. Both of you are angry and no one is ready to bow down. You feel frustrated and tired because you want to solve that matter as soon as possible. But somehow this is not happening.

Only then do you remember that many years ago when you had an argument with your friend, you silently got up and left from there. You didn’t talk to each other for some time and after an hour when both you and your friend’s anger calmed down, you started talking normal again.

Simply, you get the idea. You also walk away in front of your colleague and he also realizes his mistake later. In this way, as soon as the anger cools down, both of you reach a conclusion. This experience can be applicable on your current issue. You put it in front of your colleague and he agrees and after an hour both of you reach a conclusion.

Past experiences help you to guide your life. It also gives a perspective to things, because of any one problem your growth cannot stop. Every obstacle that you cross makes you stronger. So now take a deep breath because you have understood the meaning of this lesson.

I Embrace Uncertainty.” 

We humans are born for uncertainty. It is our endeavor that we get to know in advance about the events that will happen in the future. It is always safe to know what will happen or is going to happen next. For example, knowing that it will rain tomorrow, we are ready with an umbrella. But certainty stunts our growth. What is certain is fixed and what is fixed cannot be changed. Unless you explore new avenues, you will not be able to move forward.

It is just like when we try to solve maths problem. We use same method again and again and again and again we get wrong answer and we get frustrated. But have you considered using a different method?

Maybe you should use some other formula. Certainty and success are opposite to each other. Success is where there is uncertainty, where there is risk. This is the place where you will be able to grow. Uncertainty is the place where new things are explored. It is easy to walk on the beaten path. Our feet don’t have to find those paths, they automatically walk on them but they will never take you to any new destination. The truth is that nothing is sure in life. Uncertainty is another name of life. Even after taking a lot of care, something can go wrong.

You would probably think seeing successful people that their life is very easy. You might also be thinking that you can never be like them. But in reality the one who is successful today, once had doubt on himself. He didn’t even know what his next step would be. But could this uncertainty hold them back? no way . He didn’t give up, he kept moving forward and finally achieved what he wanted.

Therefore, living with uncertainty does not mean that you leave everything to chance, but it means that you are not afraid of taking risks and of any kind of change. You can fail and you can also be successful. Means the dreams you have can be possible only in uncertainty. You just have to have the courage to try.

Do you remember that crush of yours in college? Do you still think that I wish I would have talked to him once? Are you still regretting it or maybe you wanted to try but were afraid? But the reality is this: you didn’t know what their response would be. Yes, maybe you would not have been told, but who knows, there could have been a yes from their side as well. But you can never know what was in his heart because you didn’t even try.

A simple hello of yours could have turned into a beautiful relationship or maybe even if not love then at least you would be good friends today. Those who take risks are able to see the other side of the coin as well. If you want to make life more beautiful, exciting and thrilling, then you have to take risks. Risk takers add many memories in their life, such memories which make them cry and laugh later. So be a little carefree and enjoy life freely.

Conclusion

In this summary, you read about self talk. Always thinking and speaking negative about ourselves makes us negative. With a negative attitude, we cannot see the positive side of things, we only see their bad side. To avoid negative thinking, your self talk should be assertive. Assertive self-talk teaches us to focus in the present moment, what action you can take now and at this time. For example, “I insist that I am smart enough to do this job.”

In this you also learned about Willingness i.e. the importance of your will. You should have the desire to bring changes in your life, that means your life is in your control and you have to understand this. Don’t blame circumstances for your troubles or bad situations. If you are not happy then it is not because of you, and if you want to be happy then no one can stop you, not even your circumstances.

So now you must have learned that we have to look at life with a bigger perspective. The problem which is troubling you today, maybe tomorrow you can solve it with a pinch of salt. Many times the circumstances are such that we feel ourselves trapped in the situation, but this is just a temporary thought because nothing remains permanent in life, not even our problems.

You must have faced the worst times of your life, but even today you are alive and well. That’s why always trust yourself. You also learned in this summary that it is necessary to take risk in life. Nothing is fixed or certain in life, where there are dreams, where there are goals, there is also uncertainty, so if you keep looking for familiar situations or comfort zones, you will never be able to achieve anything.

Similarly, rejection is also an important part of life. But success also comes only after waiting. You have to understand that unless you take action, all these tips will be completely useless. What is important is your next step. Understand the power of your Thoughts. Nothing is impossible if you try. A good and beautiful life is in your own control.

Finally, if you have reached the end of this summary, then Congratulations, there are very few people who invest time on knowledge, otherwise you could have wasted time elsewhere. See you soon with a new summary

Jai Hind

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